I haven’t been sad in a really long time but this week I was sad.
I was sad because I miss you. I was sad because there’s a million things I want to tell you. I was sad because even though it’s been seven years without you, the loss of you still hurts.
It hurts because as time goes on I realize how lonely you must have been. I realize how distraught you must have been.
I realize how sad you must have been.
I wish I could have told you this sadness wouldn’t last. I wish I could have told you while your feelings are strong, they’re only temporary. I wish we could have made pizza rolls and watched a stupid movie. I wish I could have told you that it’s ok to not be ok.
It’s not embarrassing. It doesn’t make you any less.
It’s what makes you human.
This week I was sad. I ate cake with your family and then I went home and cried. Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes it’s heartbreak and bad coffee cake. The good thing is that life keeps moving.